I worked in Silicon Valley tech for over 10 years when I burned out–I should’ve recognized the symptoms sooner, but it’s a hard path to navigate when you’re in the middle of it. I took 5 years off before going back to work. I didn’t have a plan when I quit my job; I just knew that mentally (anxiety), physically (2x ACL tears), and emotionally (my marriage) were screaming at me to slow down. COVID hit when my son was a baby, and that extended my leave.
I truly hope that by sharing my experience here, I’ll help others navigate their own journey.
I think I need to take a career break but haven’t pulled the trigger.
It sounds like you’re hearing your gut feelings. Listen to yourself and honor what you feel. If you think you need an extended break, then explore what that would look like. It’s much better to honor your self-awareness now, rather than be forced to in the future by your mind or body screaming at you.
It helps to ask yourself what you need, rather than intellectually evaluate your feelings or feel guilt. What are the basic human needs you don’t have? Personal space, time, appreciation? Then you can action to fill the need, not plug the guilt. If it’s personal space, maybe you alternate with your significant other for a weekend solo. Maybe there’s part-time options. Etc.
I’m not sure it’s the right time.
The adage that it’s never the right time is right: there will always be another project, another deadline, more golden handcuffs. One of the best skills in life is to know when to prioritize yourself and to make that happen–and once you commit to that, you’ll feel golden. There won’t be a shining sign in your path that says “it’s the right time now.” You need to make it happen.
I don’t have a plan for what I’d do.
Good! If the reason for taking a career break is burnout, then just chill. Your job is to listen to your body. You don’t always have to climb a ladder and be busy.
Make it a goal to find out who you are again. You’ve likely changed since the last time you truly reflected on yourself. You might have a partner and family now. Are you a night owl or morning bird? Do you prefer to work out in the morning or afternoon? How do you feel if you take a morning walk every day? What triggers your heart to race in anxiety? Can you touch your inner well of confidence?
Knowing these things about yourself are so incredibly valuable for long-term resiliency in your whole life, personal and career.
I don’t know what I’d do each day.
You don’t need a plan. If you’re motivated and self-aware, you’ll find ways to fill your time. Cook. Read. Try a new sport. Take up a pottery class. Go for hikes. Spend a few weeks in another country. Take online courses on any topic.
You might not enjoy some things you try. You might spend money and end up not liking some things. But, the money you spend is an investment in yourself–there’s as much wisdom in figuring out what doesn’t work for you as what does work for you.
I’m worried that without the mental challenge of work, I’ll atrophy.
If you’re self-aware and motivated, anything you put your mind to, you’ll learn from. The mere act of learning new skills and facts develops your brain. It can be a new sport, art, or physics. If you’re learning, your brain won’t atrophy.
I argue that there’s far too many people in their careers who atrophy more from doing the same thing for years, rather than those who take a break and learn about themselves and completely new skill sets.
I took 17 online courses in my time off, everything from Financial Markets to photography to typography. I could’ve gotten a Master’s in that amount of time, but I knew I wanted breath, not depth. That’s where my heart compass led me. And I can say that constant shifting of topics kept my brain incredibly nimble!
I’m worried about getting back into the workforce.
It’s a legitimate concern, and it’s true that lots of companies and people don’t recognize the full value and additional skills you’ll pick up when taking a break. But, continuing to do something you know is wearing you down, solely out of fear, isn’t sustainable.
It may take you more time to get back into the workforce when you decide to. It’ll take more perseverance, faith in yourself, and trust in the universe. But that’s also the excitement of the journey. What type of person will you be at the other end? How much will you grow? What extra confidence will you have in yourself? Is that growth you want to see in yourself in your life?
I feel like I’m invalidating the hard work I’ve done to get here in my career.
After all the hard work you put into your education and career, it’s a hard pill to accept to take a break. However, all that work and your effort until now is giving you the choice. You worked for a choice. You earned the option to take a step back for yourself.
The light: skills you’ll learn
With the constant go-go workplace mentality, it’s easy to forget who you are. You and your circumstances have probably changed from the last time you truly checked in with yourself. Learning who you are under the daily madness is incredibly fulfilling and empowering. Here’s the best skills I learned, and I wouldn’t trade those years off (financially, career ladder, or otherwise) for any of them.
Self-awareness. What causes your heartrate and blood pressure to increase? Can you feel it before it starts happening? How long does it take you to really recover from a workout? Do you need that afternoon caffeine, or is that lack of energy due to another habit? Are you really a midnight-to-8am person, or a 10pm-to-6am person? The questions are endless once you start listening to yourself with open curiosity.
Confidence. I know I have a deep, inner well of strength, and I can pull from that at any time now. It’s through the ups and downs and figuring out who I am that I can see, believe, and feel my strength. You’ve got to go through that journey yourself, and the knowledge you gain at the end is palpable. Others will pick up on that as well.
Resiliency. I’m not afraid of burning out again. I know who I am much more now. I know what I need to do to relax, when to let go, when to hold on, and I have a huge toolbox that I can pull on. I’m confident that I’ll be able to handle what life throws at me. It may not be easy, but I’ll figure it out.
Empathy. There’s something about going through a really rough time yourself that transforms you. I want to say that everyone thinks they’re empathetic–you don’t wish harm on anyone. But stripping yourself down to your bare core, letting go of everything except your core, transforms the way you see and relate to everyone.
The combo of the above will create an aura around you. Others will feel your strength, and you’ll start recognizing the lust in their glances at you. Self-awareness, confidence, resiliency, and empathy are all skills that are sorely needed in today’s workplace. So, if you’re inclined, make plans for yourself!
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